Comedian Billy Crystal will sign a one-day contract with the New York Yankees and play in a spring- training game against the Pittsburgh Pirates on March 13, one day before his 60th birthday. Whoopdefuckingdo. Why the hell does Billy fucking Crystal have to play in a MLB game? I mean on one hand does me a favor and decides to take a day off from sucking as an actor, writer, homo. But with the other hand he picks up a knife and stabs me in the back by sucking up America's national pastime. Up your's Crystal. Just when I didn't think I could hate the Yankees any more you lend a limp wrist. Tell ya what, why don't you stay out of baseball and just go back to washing Whoopi's balls with your tongue and finger blasting Robin William's vag. If you can do that we'll all eagerly anticipate My Giant 2 with you and my cock. Actually scratch that. Go ahead and play and hopefully some noodle armed Pirates pitcher can put you out of commission. Fucking City Slicker.