March 10, 2008

We Picked Who?

Here we go Grizzlies, here we go! Here we go Grizzlies, here we, aw screw it. The Griz blow harder than the VCC at a Duran Duran concert. At this point the only thing Memphis is trying to win is the Michael Beasely Sweepstakes. And hopefully Rhino Balls won’t screw that up. But let’s be honest, Wallace only has a job to make guys like Danny Ainge look competent. Why so pessimistic you ask? Let me answer that by breaking down the drafts that the Vancouver/Memphis Grizzlies have made.

1st round 5th pick- Bryant “Big Country” Reeves: Not a terrible pick here. I just looked at the entire draft and there’s really nobody better here. Maybe Stoudamire, but screw it we got him later when he was washed up. Also Finely went later. Big Country was doomed from the start because the Griz drafted him. But what did you expect when you make the face of the franchise a 7ft 280lb, Greg Ostertag look a like with a lisp? Reeves had a decent rookie year followed by a soph season, where upon the powers that be decided to throw out 61 mil for 6 yrs. Then somebody put up a Barnhills Country Buffet next to a certain fatty and he retired once the Griz moved to Memphis. Interesting side note Ostertag was in this draft. Griz could’ve landed and produced the sexiest frontcourt ever, like the Crockett and Tubbs of the NBA, but not really. Instead the Grizz took…

2nd round 36th pick- Lawrence Moten: Again not a bad pick. Poetry in Moten had the whole cool tube sock up thing going. Great player for the ‘Cuse, and one of my favorite college players. However he didn’t really pan out in the NBA. Out of the league by 1998 and is now playing for the ABA.

1995 draft recap- In 96 it looked pretty strong, in retrospect it sucked.

1st round 3rd pick- Shareef Abdur-Rahim: Seems like a solid pick, by the way this will become a theme in this article. The Griz are starting to create a formidable front line, no Crockett and Tubbs, but not bad. Thing is that Abdur-Rahim was just one of those good players for crappy teams. So glad to help you fill the role. Who was better that went later? Ray Allen, Antoine Walker (iffy), Black Mamba, Stojakovic, Nash, Jermaine O’Neal. And then the Griz took…

1st round 22nd pick- Roy Rogers: No he didn’t wear a cowboy hat or have killer restaurants, but it would have been fucking awesome if he did. Instead this stiff plays in Poland. Poland? What’s the matter buddy, competition too stiff in Turkey? Poland sucks. But it did give us BIG JAKE.

1996 draft recap- At the time Rahim looked good, at present I could have lived with cheering on Kobe, even though he is a dick.

1st round 4th pick- Antonio Daniels: Huh? I mean I know this wasn’t a strong year, but come on. Five picks later Tmac was selected by the rival Canadian team. I don’t Kobe and Tmac might have been kind of exciting, but fuck it we got Antonio Daniels from that bball powerhouse they call Bowling Green, getting the ball down to Big Country. Sign me up for season tickets. AD is still a career back up.

2nd round 53rd pick- CJ Bruton: Yeah I don’t know who the fuck he is either. Apparently he’s some Aussie who never got signed. Throw another shitty pick on the Barbie! G’day ass bag. I mean pick somebody you might actually invite to camp

1997 draft recap- Terrible, terrible, terrible then and now.

1st round 2nd pick- Mike Bibby: He lets get to 2 PG in 2 years in the top 5. That’s the type of solid thinking that gets you back to the lottery again. Bibby’s not bad. He just came off a solid soph season at UA winning a national championship his freshman year. But we just drafted a PG. Hey Vancouver/Memphis didn’t need Antwan Jamison, Vince “Mr. Glass” Carter, Jason Williams(oh wait we got him), Dirk, Paul “stabby” Pierce, or Rashard Lewis. Who wants all star appearances MVPs or exciting play? Not the Griz. Bibby was later traded to the Queens where he prospered and had some exciting runs then screwed them for a big contract, true to his Griz roots. Oh we got White Choco in the trade. Fun to watch, but slightly crazy.

2nd round 53rd pick- JR Henderson: Solid college player. Not a bad pick. Played one year. Apparently averages a double double in Japan and has applied for citizenship there as well as changing his name to JR Sakuragi. What Poland to tough for ya. Commie douche.

1998 draft recap- Solid in the past, obviously it blows now.

1st round 2nd pick- Steve Francis: Hey lets get another small guard that has already said he won’t play for the team. Another strong decision made by a stellar front office. By the way, the Franchise cried after being drafted, not because he was happy, which is gay. No he cried on national TV because he was sad, which is super gay. So instead the Griz got Michael Dickerson, Othella Harrington, Antoine Carr, Brent Price, 1st and 2nd round pick and gave the Rockets the Fagise. Dickerson would later play well and the Griz would throw a ton $ at him and he would never play again. Carr was old, Harrington is still bouncing around the league and Price was old and moldy too. Vancouver passed on Baron Davis, Odom, Wally World, Rip Hamilton and his Jason mask, Andre Miller, the Matrix, Maggette, Artest, Jason Terry,AK47 only to pick up…

2nd round 36th pick- Obinna Ekezie: Which apparently means Father’s Heart. Really I’m not going into this one. By the way Manu and his bald spot went 2nd to last in this round.

1999 draft recap- Stupid then stupid now. There’s some pretty good players out there. I know this is a lot to chew and you probably didn’t make it this far. Hell you probably just got routed to this site because you were looking for Oprah porn, and I can’t blame you. But if you did read this far 2000- to present day and possibly future coming soon.


The VCC said...

Is there really and ABA?

Poland is to the NBA what North America is to the NHL.

Romo said...
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Romo said...
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