May 27, 2008

Wk 7 Preview:Fuck it dude, let's go bowling.

Preface: If you haven’t watched The Big Lebowski, then let me out of the car Cole. No seriously if you haven’t then you’re either 12 or just really lame and no one wants to tell you. So just watch it. Also this could be you in which case you get a pass.

Welcome back from a well deserved, long weekend, in which I hope you all got drunk and laid, unless your Jones. If he happens to procreate we’ll get another one of these. I’ll be taking over for VCC today on “Kickball’s Coming Attractions”, since he’ll be masquerading as a Polish chick giving “favors” at airport hotels for money (and no, I don’t believe his “the cops are making me do it to get out of unpaid parking tickets,” line). So expect a few more dick jokes, not as smooth presentation, and for your mom to have an orgasm while you read this. Yeah I’m that good. So let’s get on with the preview.

Coming this Wednesday, for the first time ever, to Willow Field, aka the field in front of the woods where I leave dead hookers, Midnight Delight VS. Little Lebowski’s Urban Achievers. This kickball game has not yet been rated but is only suitable for those of mature ages and immature minds. For those of you haven’t been following, Midnight Delight has been on a tear of late, playing like a werewolf with a chainsaw for a penis sporting a bullet proof vest. That means unstoppable for all you math wizards out there. After a rough 0-2, we have won 4 straight. That’s right we’ve been streaking and everyone is enjoying it. We’ve been doing it with chastity belt like defense and running the base paths like whiplash. The team is starting to gel like Jones’ hair. But what do we know about LLUA? Good question. The answer is not much. Who’s fault is this? Well… mostly the dude who won’t post the fucking records on the website. Seriously dude if you aren’t going to dedicate your life to posting the records of our semipro kickball league (semipro cuz I saw Ken getting some $ from some dude under the bleachers, bet that’s not the only thing that was exchanged under there) then just stop wasting time and jump into traffic. But I digress. Here’s what we do know about the LLUA. They split their first 4 games. So they could have the same record as Midnight Delight. Or they could have really been like the VCC this weekend at Backstreet, and blew everything, losing the last 2. Let’s take the responsible approach and say they are 3-3. So we know they suck but not as much as your mom. Combine that with the fact that they have a pretty good name and I think MD might have a struggle on its hands.

So how’s it gonna go down? I see things starting slow, yeah ease it on in. Scoreless the first inning for both teams, but not with out some close calls. Then things start to heat for both teams in the next two innings, uh huh there you go. Bunches of runs are scored, but there seems to be some confusion on the correct score and a gentlemanly debate ensues. Cooler heads prevail and the teams go back playing passionately at a furious pace, yes yes yes. Finally the Delightful morning hours break away and unload a plethora of runs on the face of LLUA, ahhhh. In conclusion, the LLUA were just out of their element, the were like a child that wanders in to the middle of a movie, but I’ll tell ya they really tied the game together. Fucking A they did. End result: MD 11 LLUA 6 and then we party. Nobody fucks with us. Games at 6:30 on the dreaded field #1.

Side note due to the fact that she has a problem walking, we almost lost last weeks rookie, Kim, due to falling down the stairs and coming up with an ailing quad. Some of you may not know who she is so here’s a pic of her husband JR. I’m not doing a fun meter b/c I have a fully functioning unit, well most of the time it functions. Oh yeah just cuz..


The VCC said...

Couple of things.

1. work sucks
2. Whiplash was the best halftime event I've ever witnessed
3. Excellent pic of Jr.
4. That was me with Ken under the bleachers but he'll deny every word of it.
5. and the Fun-o-meter doesn't come out to the recap dick nozzle.

Now go and put some ointment on that shit before it spreads.

Anonymous said...

My my my How I love my Tedicks