May 22, 2008

Bumps and Bruises Oh My! IR wk 6 Bumps and Bruises Oh My! IR wk 6

Week 6 has come and gone, and while wins continue to mount so to do the injuries. The bye week was crucial since we have been pushing our bodies to the max (no not the place where the saved by the bell kids hung out, fucking turn your chair around AC and try to find a shirt with some fucking sleeves, douche). Everyone looked to be in top physical condition before the game (look mom we're totally drinking milk and eating our flintstones vitamins, except for Ken he's obviously been smoking 8 poles i mean packs a day to stunt his growth)but looks can be deceiving. Before the game the VCC was drinking a couple of zimas and prancing around with power tools talking about their "other uses". Anyway he goes on to tell me how hard he was giving this guy a short stack of camcakes at the I55 reststop, when he picks up the hammer to drive a nail in a board to demonstrate. He preceeded to hit his finger with the hammer and gush like blood. After several hours of crying and a snoopy bandaid he decided he could play. The lesson here is that camcakes aren't good for anyone, small stack or large. So on to the park we went where every one was feeling good. However once things got started a different tale was told.

Things got started off with yours truly getting on base(with your mom). After getting on I decided that I should slide at every base on the way home. Eventually my knee had enough and decided to spring a gash of torn flesh. Good times. After doing this I decided to slide face first next. Everything seemed cool until i showered this morning. Bad idea. I don't know what's going on with my chest but it hurts. As I got home today I took my sock off and apparently the side of my leg thought it would be funny to bleed just enough to form a scab with my sock. Sexy huh?

Next up we have the lovely and talented Jenny(I didn't even have to use spell checker for her name, looking at you VCC). This young lady has apparently decided to moonlight as a soccer player on the off weeks, still checking her contract to see if that's legal, and hurt her hip. It was bad, the girl looked like she was in pain. The kind of pain the ol Acwe bandage can't help.But what does she do, she suits up. FUcking A right she did. Why? Cuz she's better than you that's why. Personally, I would have gotten my onesy on, a box of tissues and watched Hope Floats. The girl even saved the day with a couple of catches. That's Tonka Tuff. We here at FIDO salute you.

What injury report could be complete with out J Jones. He's been nursing a tender ankle all season long and brain swelling. Shits crazy. Any who, if you have ever seen the delight of the midnight play, you know that the 3rd baseman isn't know for staying on his feet. Last night was no exception. He was a whirling dervish on the field and ended up scratching up his knee. And from what I could tell feels pretty rough.

Lastly I have some bad news to share. It appears Derrick and Krystal have been checked into a rehab in Hong Kong. The stress of kickball combined with a run n gun lifestyle has finally caught up with the couple. We wish them the best and hope they got our request for that 19 yr old asian girl we keep asking for Xmas but never seem to get.

That's all i got. I'm tired and hungry. If anyone (ken) wants to bring home some Little Italy that would be cool. See ya in the obits.


The VCC said...

fuck 19, in asian years thats like 85 and dusty. Derrek, preteens please, at least 3 of them.

Anonymous said...

Is that you Teddy?

The VCC said...

Who the hell is this?

TK said...

it's probably our loyal aussie reader, do you have to badger them?