June 26, 2008

We picked Who? Part 4

Oh goodie, goodie gumdrops, it's time for the draft. This used to be one of my favorite times of the year. You would see teams pick all the college players you loved watching so much through out the year. You get to see young men dressed badly as they watch their dreams fulfilled. You get to see STEVEN A. SMITH! This all you used to be so much fun until I realized what it means to be a Griz fan. The draft brings so much hope and promise, especially for a team that always seems to be picking near the top. Unfortunately it's never quite close enough to the top. They always end up fucking us one way or the other. We did however manage not to pick Noah last year and if we don't get a Lopez twin I'll consider it a moral victory. So this year starts FDIO's first live blog. You won't be able to see it in real time cuz we don't know how to do it, and we taped the first portion so it's not really live in that sense. But you are getting our initial reaction. So many questions to be answered like who will the Griz pick, will they trade up, will Mayo go before Beasley, will Rose go number one, will I go #2 later in the evening, what will eat for dinner, how many dick jokes will be in the column, will this rash on my junk go away? All good questions. Let me set the mood for ya. We're at the VCC's. It's VCC, Illy Whack, and Dustin. He's making me hungry with his chili, umm chili. So here we go.

Just found out Stern's been around for 25 yrs as the New York fans boo him. Gotta love it.

Stern may be the most feared man in basketball but he needs to bring back the mustache.

Awesome I just signed up for an evening listening to Stu Scott.

Bulls on the clock. VCC points out the Del Negro looks like Luke Wilson.

Everybody assumes Rose is a lock.

Rizose goes number one. Good for him. Apparently his nickname is Pooh but I never heard this. Dustin's calling him Poohdini. Fag.

Bilas likes his ability to get in the lane and fill holes. Seriously Jay, could you want to fuck him any harder.

Just got a text from Jones, he wants Gay Love but I'll live with Gay Mayo.

We just got the first Stephen A appearance. Rose looks as exciting as I would be to talk to SAS.

Cue the interview, cue us making racist jokes.

Dustin enlightens us with the fact that RoSe and his moms got the same hair cut. Sweet.

Miami picks Beasely. Mayo looks pissed. Beasely looks like the shrimp guy from Forest Gump. Better tuck the lip up before it gets caught on a trip wire.

Just order Jimmy Johns. VCC cries cuz he can't handle it.

Missed the whole interview cuz nut lick at Jimmy Johns is deaf.

TImberwolves pick Mayo. He's got the Lisa Lobe glass. Way hot.

Real name is Ovinton J'anthony Mayo. Don't even need a joke here.

VCC says he looks 40. He's names Ovinton. Also everyone wonders what Stern does while he waits in back. I prefer to think he roles around with $ in a bed ala Demi Moore in Indecent Proposal.

Sonics take Westbrook. Bilas loves this guy, which dudes doesn't he love

Dustin questions my love for pounding vag. Fuck you dude I'm the Iron Chef of pounding Vag.

VCC taking over while i eat....cock (The VCC finished this line)

Ted keeps getting texts from some half dude half chick. Griz are on the clock and...the pick is in....

Memphis Grizzlies select Kevin Love. Memphis!!! Are you ready for some Gay Love next year? Fuck!! I don't want another fucking big white mother fucker. The grit stash is cool though. If he decides to run with the stash, I may be able to get into him. TWSS.

We continue with Love highlights...and we see the full court shot again.

Stephen Gay Smith somehow interviews Love in the third person. But all is good, we just interviewed Love's dad and he really looks like he needed this pay day. Looked a bit wore down.

Griz next pick will come in the 1st rd with the 28th overall pick

With the 6th pick in the NBA draft, the New York Nicks select Danilo Gallinari F/Italy. Who? Apparently a 2008 Euroleague Rising Star. Ted said he's the next Tony Cujo. With the ESPN Online Pole, the nation has given the Nicks a grade of F.

I wondering how much longer we really want to do this. Sort of sucks now that our pick is over. Ted's still eating and Dustin is totally eyeing his food.

I'm back and apparently Dustin likes more Heat than Sweet, VCC is vice versa.

Clippers take Eric Gordon. He looks like he's 12. He can shoot. Fucking A he can. NIce dinner jacket. No word yet if he likes heat or sweet more.

Just learned that VCC's idea of planing for the future is cashing in his kids IRA.

First bathroom break of the evening goes to VCC as he announces he's got to drop the deuce. Yummy in your tummy.

Bucks pick Joe Alexander or as Dustin says the guy that's bringing sexy back. If feel a little worried about sitting on the same couch with him. Meanwhile Illy Whack is chewing on a Dustin's leg.

Dustin is lost in his eyes. Alexander has huge....ears.

VCC just ran out to get some Hydroxy Cut.

Dustin is now like a huge Bucks fan, and really wants to bang Joe Alexander.

Bobcats take Augustin. Lopez appears to be crying. Terrible pick. VCC likes his tiny soul patch. You can only pull off, ha, a soul patch if your black. Otherwise you'r gay.

Draft is starting to lose interest, Dustin is talking about Jone's parent's sex life. Just saw some side boob. I love side boob. Also accents. Accents on chicks are hot. Dustin wants to choke out British kids. Is that a fetish? Somebody get a website up.

Nets finally end Lopez's nightmare and a soft center to VC. Can't wait to hear this guy talk. Sounds like one of those trees in Lord of the Rings. Apparently he didn't test out well in orlando. I got the same reviews in the bedroom with the last girl i went home. Course that was 6 years ago.

Illy Whack was put to bed. VCC is stoked about Gay Love. Scully is super pumped as well, she wants to know what GAY LOVE is and she wants you to show her.

Pacers take Jerryd Bayless. Cream suit and matching shoes. Um um um I love to see Greg's guys doing it. Wear it out yall.

Dustin's plans for the 4th are to be floating in water. Learning alot about Dustin and it's scaring me.

Bud ligt lime is apparently for really cool people on the beach, chicks , and fags.

Took a smoke break, saw some pics of VCC firing off some knuckle kids.

Quick run down Queens to some dude from Rider? Blazers took Brandon Rush and the warriors took Randolph from your LSU tigers.

Suns take the other Lopez so they have Shaq and Sideshow bob patrolling the paint

Sixers Mo Spieghts from UF and stern's voice cracks.

Hibbert aka Blinky taken by the Raptors.

Wiz ake Javale Mcgee from Nevada. Never heard of him

Cavs take JJ Hickson, Griz wince. James approves.

Dustin wants to look at chicks in bikinis

Commercial break. Quick side note here. Instead of watching the preview for the draft i watched Stranger than Fiction. Will Ferrell movie that is underrated. Any way I totally dig Maggie Gyllenhall in this movie. Normally I'm not a fan but she looks really good, I think its the tattoo. Almost spank bank material.

I think I feel a turtle head poking. Bathroom break 1 for me.

Um kay, we're back Griz have the 28th pick. CDR is still out there. Also Mario Chalmers is still out there. Darrell Arthur was taken by the Hornets. Apparently his mom quit her job as a bus driver to follow him around the country. If Memphis takes dude then I feel bad for him. He could get hit with a battery. Spoiler alert, he'll be black.

Here we go... Stern walks to the podium and the pick is...(be prepared to heart broken)Donte' Green. Whatever this sucks. I like him but as the VCC said CDR puts asses in the seats.

This is TK for VCC signing off


TK said...

I so gay.

Romo said...

Buckets 40th? Fuck that shit. Rookie of the year.