June 22, 2008

Who Dis? MD Player Profile Jermey Jones

The red headed mushroomed hair wonder that lies before you is Mr. Jeremy Jones. Jeremy plays in the dirt and third base for Midnight Delight, but if you listen to the rumors he also plays for the other team. Jeremy's travels to Midnight Delight have been long and arduous. It's taken him down a road with many twists and turns but he is a survivor. Although he was raised by his grandparents, the fierce loyalty that he displays each Wednesday night was derived from his parents, God rest their souls. While many of you know that Jones is pale, potato farming, Guiness swilling Mick because you have seen him display his love for his native land with tattoos, what you don't know is that he lost his parents to the cause not started in his homeland. His grandpappy and nana decided they needed to make a fresh start for their grandson. So the gang packed up and moved to some place where weather is consistent year round, where everybody is a safe driver, and where ovens are only for pizzas... A little place called Memphrica. Jeremy was a good child growing up. He made good grades, was class president, and most importantly he was being smart, staying clean, and keeping the dream. In his free time he was devoted to doing things "for the kids". Then came his high school years. He was projected to excel in all facets of high school, however one fateful night he was on his way to tudor a group of retarded chinese kids who had been abused as children when there parents use to make them watch hours of footage of the worst monster in asian history. But he would never make it to those poor little china men. No our young hero would get sidetracked. While on the interstate Jeremy would see a building on fire. Acting on instincts he ran into the building and grabbed everyone he could. What he didn't know is that building was XXX adult bookstore. Another thing he didn't know was that the people he was grabbing were just sex dolls. The last thing he was unaware of was that the man wearing a fireman's hat handing him oxygen to huff wasn't a fireman. He was a gay stripper named Buck Naked who was buying props for his show for the eagle scout convention and he wasn't giving oxygen to him, no it was maximum impact(wahwahwahwah). After getting woozy Jeremy learned a couple of things that night:1- He loved fireman and their hoses. 2-Being of sound mind sucks, being fucked up rocked. That brings us up to current day to the man that holds down the hot corner for Midnight Delight. His new hobbies include drinking car bombs, dropping pint glasses, watching 8yr old boy soccer practice, and rocking out.

Likes: Soap operas, banana daiquiris, fireman, Jamie Fox, headbands, and lube.


1 comment:

The VCC said...

couple things here...

1. i totally opened the destiny's child video in a new tab and let it play the remainder of the time i read...i don't know what its like to not have it playing, but probably one of the best experiences reading a blog ever.

2. now i want some maximum impact.