August 21, 2008


Now that we are progressing further and further to the stages of grief, it's all starting to become so clear. I mean we were in denial when we went out to the park on a Wed. for a scrimmage. We aint talking about a game!
Then we get pissed cuz we don't have anything to do on Wed. so Ken gets pushed around like a pinata. Now comes the next stage, bargaining. We've all done it. It's nothing to be ashamed of doing. Whether you were praying to God that if he made those itchy red welts on your cock go away then you would never have sex with the Olsen twins again. Sluts. Or remember that time you really needed some glue to finish your model airplane but all you had were some cheeseburgers, boy did you really start to bargain around the 28 second mark. Just to let you know I would you give glue any time you wanted it. Shit I'll shank a mutha fuckin horse right now for ya, grind that ass up, and make the glue myself for ya. Whoa, sorry about that. Pharmacy still hasn't filled my prescriptions yet. Anyway, as you may or may not know bargaining is when you seek to avoid bad things happening by promising to do things that will have not alter current events. Like when you were watching Dustin eat a slaw dawg and you thought to yourself,"if that thing doesn't give him gas, then I will never brush my pubes with his comb or rub one out in his hair gel again." So now with the help of many mundane and boring situations, we all know what bargaining is.

Armed with all this important info we will now go out and figure out how to deal with our bargaining attitudes towards kickball. I know you're thinking that you could get kickball back by kneeling at the feet of the almighty Theodore King Esq. and drain his god rod of lightning. Now that's definitely a worth while thought. Hell, I might even test the theory if I was you (maybe I have). After you get the legendary Ted King off, and realize that there won't be kickball on Wed. what do you do? First, go get a shot of penicillin, b/c that dudes been with all kinds of sketchy looking shit, possibly even a goat, and definitely a ken. Next you want to go home and shoot yourself for 2 reasons. One, you're fucking worthless if you can't find something else to do on Wed. Two, the aids is probably setting in by now and you don't want to leave like that.

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