A wise man by the name of Samuel Clemens(Mark Twain for all you lit majors) once said that denial,"it aint just a river in Egypt." So true Sam, so true, unless of course you ask anyone on EP Blvd. We here at FDIO have pledged to do some public service and help the readership deal with their grief. Yeah I know, we're super nice guys and I don't think it really matters if this was court ordered after I got caught dressing up as an orderly and helping out the elderly. And by helping the elderly I mean...well you know what I mean. Back to denial. So what does it mean to be in denial? Good question. I would give Webster's defintion of denial, but come on you're gonna believe this guy? Come to think of it, ole Web probably knows a fuck load about denial if he thought chicks actually dug him in that hat. But no we aren't going to ask this tiny black man, instead we are going to use another lil guy that is near(close to where i sleep) and dear(i heart him) to all of us at FDIO to demonstrate what denial is. That's right my main man Kenjamin Kennedy. Ken has had his fair share of denial in his life. We've all heard these half truths from are tan, half pint: "No really, I'm like 5'8," or, "Actually I'm not Mexiken," how could we forget, "My ass is cherry" and my personal favorite, "I'm into chicks. I swear I didn't know they were trannies!" We all know that poor lil Ken was just to scared to face the truth in all these instances. I mean 5'8, try 4'8. And how the fuck you gonna tell me you're not from Mexico, the dudes at El Mezcal all know it. Lastly, I don't even have to address the last one.
But some of you might sit there and think, "Who the fuck is Ken?" Well all I have to say is fuck you, you suck. But if your still having some trouble figuring out what denial is take a look at the last time my sweet Ken was on TV, right here. Now as you can see here we have 2 denials from Ken. The first one is Ken trying to say he's not a sexual predator. You got a better chance of being 5'8 buddy. The 2nd is when Ken thinks that if he pulls his shirt over his head we won't notice him. Major denial. Face the facts buddy, we would know that mumbled voice and small hands any where.
So now that we've figured out what denial is, let's address how to deal with it. Umm...shit....fuck...ok i got nothing. I mean come on I look myself in the mirror every day and think, "Damn you're hot. You look like a less manly Rosie Odonnell. But what do I do? I drink, a lot and then I fornicate. Does it work? I'm not for sure but my junk is constantly chaffed. THanks for stopping by, and don't worry about another extended hiatus b/c the VCC will be live blogging our fantasy football draft which takes place this weekend.
P.S.- When you got nothing to write about, pump the well that is Ken. Thanks Ken.
August 13, 2008
Posted by TK at 4:02 PM