August 14, 2008


I'm not sure how long we can rape this well before it run's dry, but we have to be at least 3 ft deep into the 4ft 8in well that is Kenneth Kennedy. Shoulder-blade deep (at least for Ken) if you will. But if you've ever seen Ken get angry, it looks a lot like this. It doesn't happen very often, but sometimes, Ken gets his jewels in such a bind that he has to step back and remember what he has learned, how to deal with the anger. Lets look at some of the things Ken does to cope with the anger.

1.) Talk to a friend you can trust (he basically starts a conversation with himself, but he's 2nd personality makes fun on his ethnicity too. See his 2nd personality is German. Sucks)
2.) Count to 10 (he gets to 3)
3.) Get or give a hug (he's usually got no cash on hand, so skip this one)
4.) Do jumping jacks or another exercise (ha!)
5.) Draw a picture of your anger (Ken's Artwork)
6.) Play a video game (possibly the only doable anger management option here)
7.) Run around the outside of the house five times as fast as you can (yeah, I could see him running to the fridge and back)
8.) Sing along with the stereo (come to think of it, I don't think I’ve ever heard Ken sing in my entire life)
9.) Pull weeds in the garden (this would mean pulling up the entire yard, from the house to the street)
10.) Think good thoughts (little boys and ice cream, or little boy with ice cream)
11.) Take a bike ride, go skateboarding, play basketball - do something active! (Kickball 4 Life!)

So traditional anger management skills don't seem to be suited for our little Polynesian powerhouse. Our Eskimoian hatchet wound ponder goes for a more new age remedy. Alcohol. Now you're probably asking yourself, "Wouldn't that just feed the anger?" Well...your right it does, but Ken doesn't know any better and its fabulous entertainment for us. Just too back up for a second, for option 5 above, does anyone else think its funny Ken is angry with pirates? Anyways.

I hope this has put some perspective on step 2 of the grieving process for those of you on the kickball team. If it has, then congratulations cause I have no fucking clue how any of this helped you. The only thing it did for me was make me laugh.

Poor Ken. Face Down in Ken this week.

1 comment:

TK said...

Pirates and Ken have a love hate thing. He loves it when they rob his booty, but then hates them in the morning when they shove off.