April 24, 2008

FDIO - Kickballz Game 3 Box Score

It is now Thursday...post-kickball day. So far this year, my posts on Thursdays have been sort of bitter and vengeful. I have always found something negative to emphasis on about the teams we have played, reasons why we came up short, and people on the opposing team that just piss me off. Well...today will be much of same except.....

VICTORY!!!!!!!! Everyone else can get fucked.

Now...on to the epic battle which was our kickball game last night. The evening started out with some promise, as Ted, Ken, Jones and myself showed up about an hour early for our game to get some drinking done before we took the field. We pulled into the parking lot, proceeded to the back of the Rec Center and then Ken lost his shit, "Why are those people in our dugout? We're supposed to be the home team and they are in our dugout!" Hey Ken...Our game isn't till 7:30, the 6:30 game has to put their teams somewhere. Fuck stick. After Ken settled down, we sat around, drank some beers and just waited till game time. We ended up knowing several of the opposing players and were able to settle who was the home team and who was away by a chug off. Enter Jones. Exit Jones. 0-1 in chug off's. So we took the field. The sweet smell of victory was in the air. Both teams were 0-2, so someone would be drinking as winners tonight. The game began and we took an early 1-0 lead in the top of first inning. We were stoked! Our first lead of the season. It tasted really really good. We kept on rolling. Our defense was really strong last night but we soon found ourselves in a 1-4 hole. As we battled back we got it to 4-4, but wait, team asshat is calling two of our runners back because the pitcher ran to right field and took control of the ball. They were bitching that since the pitcher had the ball, even though she was no were near the mound, we all had to go back to our bases. Fuck that, they can eat all of me. So....chug off! (note - we were only chugging off for the last run, there was no way both of use were getting back on base, see Rule 13 of the kickball rules.) Enter Jones and Enter their best chugger.Exit Jones again. 0-2 tonight in chug off's. Dudes horrible at chugging. So, score is 3-4, fuck it, whatever. Next play....base hit, runner scores anyways. The last chug off really set Jones off, him and 2nd Lieutenant Ballsack, were bickering like little bitches the rest of the night. But that dude sucked, I mean he sucked as a person and a player. He was literally multitasking different levels of sucking. He kicked the shit out of it, over Ted Kings head in the outfield, but his jolly fat ass only made it to first. Anyone who didn't eat a bucket of chicken between the car and dugout could have easily stretched that into a double, if not a triple. So the game continued, after the whole chug off/Jones vs. Fatty bickering, the fun had sort of been sucked out of the game and it took a serious turn for the serious. Huh? Time was running down, we were heading into the bottom of the finally inning leading 7-4 (other team said it was 7-5, but what do they know, they fuck kin). Thankfully, we were able to get them up and down only scoring 1 run so there was no dispute. So if you add the 4 and carry the 7, divide by 3, you get a final score of:
Multiple Scoregasams 5, Midnight Delight, mother fucking 7!! We are the best kickball team ever.

Game Day: April 23rd
Opponent: Multiple Scoregasams
Results: Win
Score: 7-5
Midnight Delight Record: 1-2-0
Opponents Fun-0-meter (0-10, worse-best): 5 (started out at an 8, but worked its way to a 2.)

* I'm not a sci-fi geek or anything, but those elves are hot.
** Jones went to Minor med today, high ankle sprain, he's listed as gay to gay.

1 comment:

TK said...

I hear you beat off to the lord of rings.