April 24, 2008

Ouchie Report

Yea team we won. I would like everyone to take a moment to thank the VCC for his riveting recap, but shouldn’t that guy be trolling preschool playgrounds with pockets full of candy in a van with no windows? Any who, lets find who’s bitchin and who’s a bitch.

Coming in to last nights game we had few people with some bumps and bruises. Derrick sat out last week’s game and was a no show for this week’s game. Here at FDIO we’re all about hard hitting investigative journalism so we asked de facto team captain Ken Small Shoes Kennedy what was up with the ailing delighter and got this witticism, “ He, uh, tore something.” So there you have it. Out with a torn, uh, something. Trust me those things can be a bitch. I once ripped a watchamacallit and I couldn’t gesture wildly while driving for a week. No time table has been set for a return, but please keep the Dman in your prayers as well as his something.

Also a no show was young Krystal. If you were one of the 3 pervy fireman in the stands last week you may remember her as the young lady playing friendly with the dirt around first base. Krystal stumbled over the bag and had a couple of skinned knees. She did not return to the game but was bandaged up properly since someone on the team seems to be carrying around a first aid kit that might rival the supplies of the minor med. Krystal we all hope you are doing and come back soon. Maybe she can borrow some of the VCC's knee pads. On a related note, Midnight Delight took a hit in its likeability poll in the Asian markets.

Before the game started, there was some tomfoolery and general rebel rousing going on at the VCC’s house before the game. By this I mean Ken was trying to ward off Jones’wang advances. As Jones was prancing around after Ken in the yard he slipped on some massage oil he was baiting Ken with. As a result of the slippage, Mr. Jones seemed to twist his ankle. He claimed it popped and I believe him cuz that definitely wasn’t Ken’s cherry. We all know Ken’s ass aint been cherry for a while. Back to the ankle though. The marble mouthed 3rd baseman toughed it out with numerous beers and made it thru the evening. However it looked a little worse this morning and Jones was last seen headed towards the Minor Med asking for a different MD than I got. Pussy.

Last and most certainly least is the story of yours truly, TK. Teddy K was hobbled and humbled with a quad strain last week and has endured numerous massages at various shady establishments to get ready for this week. After getting crappy pills from the man I went to the black market to cure my ills. Yesterday my status was still in doubt, but I hatched a plan. 1st I would wrap my leg in an ace bandage. Next, eat a lot of pills and drink a lot of beers. Lastly, hope I couldn’t feel my leg. IT worked! I’m like Doogie Houser. I even have an ethnically ambiguous friend. Except when I grow up I’m not gonna be gay like Doogie. Any way, the leg still hurts but the bright side is that I can get drunk soon cuz its Thursday.

If you have a friend that hurts or are hurting yourself than get one of these. That's totally Louie Anderson on the right.

1 comment:

The VCC said...

me likie you grammar in report done you have. Job excellent!