FDIO - Kickballz Game 5 Box Score

Ken: Fear does not exist on this field, does it?
Midnight Delight Team: NO, KENNY!
Ken: Pain does not exist on this field, does it?
Midnight Delight Team: NO, KENNY!
Ken: Defeat does not exist on this field, does it?
Midnight Delight Team: NO, KENNY!

No beating around the bush today, we are fucking badass. We completly sucked the soul out of the other team last night serving them a "fuck you" sandwich with a side of 13 runs, while they dined on a fat, soft-boiled goose egg.

Right off the bat...or uh kick....we jumped out to a 1-0 lead in the first inning and never let up. I know that we won 13-0 but I don't want that to overshadow the fact that the team we played was absolutely terrible. Looking back at my "pregame" post, I'm going to have to go with option three, "...or just a bunch of lame people who came up with a stupid team name." They didn't strike me as "put your keys in the bowl" type nor advocates of the movie. Regardless, our most triumphet victory would not have been possible with out the sure hands and sturdy foot of our attack.


On the defensive side of things, we ruled with an iron foot. We filled the gaps (that’s what she said) and blew the dudes...what? (that’s what Ted said) Lindsey pitched her usual gnarly junk, even switching it up to a pretty pink ball with a princess on it. Awe. Ken did what ken does and put the fear of god in the other team with his intimidating guns. But the defensive game ball goes to Chauncey (Jones) for the final out of the game and maintaining our shut out, further crushing the remaining will to live (or play kickball) the other team had. I believe that nut crushing out is what lead the other team to call it quits with 15 minutes left to play.

Ken: What do we study here?
Midnight Delight Team: THE WAY OF THE FIST SIR.
Ken: And what is that way?
Midnight Delight Team: STRIKE FIRST. STRIKE HARD. NO MERCY SIR.
Ken: I can't hear you.
Midnight Delight Team: STRIKE FIRST. STRIKE HARD. NO MERCY SIR.

Our unprecedented victory was sealed as we went for the jugular on every at kick. At several points in the battle, it seemed to rain runs. Gobs of them coming at a time, right to the chin of the other team. That’s right, gobs to the chin. Normally I don't talk about myself, but I did kick an "in-the-in-field-homerun." I didn't mean too, it just worked out that way, once I got my awesomeness up to full speed, it's tough to throttle that bitch back without causing injury to my awesome gland. Lindsey again fisted the other team by kicking in something like 5-6 runs (note: made up stat, but it was a lot). I do believe Left/Center Superstar even went 3 for 3 knocking in a few runs herself.

With everyone riding the high of the 3 game win streak, capped off with a ass ramming shut out, the competitive nature in some of us carried over to the bar. Jr and Ted got is some sort of devils mayo sploodge off. Each of them taking a load to the neck, face and scalp area, with Ted taking the brunt of Jr's sneak attack. I left, but I did hear and see some pictures of Ted breaking it down on the dance floor. Patrick’s is awesome. Well until we run out our welcome like several other bars around town.

Till next next week...I leave you with the inspirational words of Barry Badrinath: "Back the fuck up, Antonio! My dick!... My apologies, now 5 dollars to touch it while I touch my toes, 6 dollars to touch it while I touch your..."


Game Day: May 7th
Opponent: The Swingers
Results: Win
Score: 13-0
Midnight Delight Record: 3-2-0 (.600)
Opponents Fun-0-meter (0-10, worse-best): 8