Fuck

Yeah that's right I said it. The reason I have decided to title this ditty with the present tense of what I did to Jones' mom last night is b/c this is exactly the unsolicited response I got from two die hard, and by die hard I mean they go to the games and put up with crappy beer prices, Griz fans when they heard we got the 5th pick in upcoming NBA draft. "Fuck!" Couldn't have said it better myself. I mean seriously who did we actually want to get with the #1 pick, Rose? They guy is going to be a phnomenal PG and he lead the UM Tigers to the title game. Why would Memphians line up and by season tix to support that guy? Hell I would have even been happen with Beasley. THe guy had one of the best Freshman seasons ever. He would have been a terror down low. The Griz would have had a young nucleus of Conley, Gay, Beasley. Hehe gay. Never gets old. Any way we got fucked again. Whether it's in the playoffs, regular season, or the draft the Griz will rip your fucking heart out. I don't even feel let down. You and I both know it wasn't gonna happen. We all knew they would get a high enough pick just to give us hope but piss us off. You can read what they did in previous drafts here and here. Real fucking solid huh?

But hey, no use crying over a misfired cum shot. Let's check out who the Griz can get with the 5th pick. We all know Beasley will go first and Rose second. Then the Timberwolves draft and then the Sonics. After that it's time for your Memphis Grizzlies to shit on your face. Who knows what the McHale will do with Wolves' pick. He's dumber than Wallace. The sonics will probably take a PG or a big. But lets start exmaining.

First up for craptacular picks is Brooks Lopez. That pic is actually is gay twin brother Robin. Sucks to get the gay name. They look the same but Brooks hair is less gay. This is the worst possible scenario unless they some how were able to get both Lopez's. If that's possible then God hates Memphis. Lopez has a nice offensive game, but he's a bigger stiff than Pau, and that's no small feat. Let's stick with this comparison. He's like Pau except slower, dumber, and a bigger vagina. Even better he's like if Pau and Joakim Noah got it on in the VCC's hot tub and produced a 7 foot gay basketball player. Welcome to Memphis Brooks, sure it will be better than Stanford where the weather so sucked.

Moving on to option duece. Meet OJ Mayo. OJ...seriously...you have to be joking. There is nothing good that can come out of a dude that plays sports in Memphis. I'm just saying that it could be one incident a way from a huge race riot here. Nobody wants that. Honestly though, I thought Mayo had a pretty good year and every body says his game transfers to the pros better. Not buying it. First off he was like 20 this yr. 2nd, have you read the news lately. If you didn't know that he accepted $ in college then you're an ass. Thirdly, did you see this pic. 4th, this guy could be the shooting guard that has size and can make things happen. Sounds great right. No way he'll get in fights with his team and or fans. So totally a possibility for Memphis.

Next, Jerryd Bayless. Not much here. Small guy who is a shoot first PG, or a small SG. May be good, but what the fuck who names their kid Jerryd. Gay. Can't cheer for this guy. I know it's superfical but so am i.

Eric Gordon, come on down to play have your life ruined by Memphis. I like Gordon. He is small and plays SG, but the kid can score. He's got moxy, pazazz. Yeah I know nobody talks like that but deal with it. I'm not gonna rip him. His D could be better but that will come. Why did I just say his D could be better and it will come, sicko.

Kevin Love. Ummmm...I think I speak for everyone in Memphis when I say no. He is a big guy at 6'9. He rebounds and has a nice O game and makes cool passes and full court shots. He plays smart. But for like half the year I couldn't tell if he was black, white or Mexican. Not that it matters I just like to know what racial slurs to yell when angry. I wouldn't hate this pick, just seems to early to take him.

Then there's Anthony Randolp(typical LSU player, crazy athlete but not a basketball player), Deandre Jordan(7 footer that will suck) and some foreign dude they better not take. Foreign dudes suck worse than fat chicks. One thing is certain, the Griz will make a pick. Some of Memphis will say FUCK, some will say eh, but most will try to rationalize it. I will be the first and then the last. Go Griz. Oh by the way when you stomped on my junk last year with Pau firesale, you missed a testicle. So feel free to slap your doomsday mobile in reverse and mangle it.