June 12, 2008

IR wk 9: And Lube

Here I go again on my own, writing about the only subject that I know. Like a drifter I was born to write alone. The VCC still lets me write on this thing because I have some compromising pics of his days in college. Looking good sweet cheeks! Well after last week's game we came away relatively unscathed aside from the fact that most of the guys didn't feel like men after the game. Mostly cuz the chicks played like they wore the pants on the team. Of course we had the recurring quad injury, a few bloody knees and Ken was on his period. All and all we were looking pretty healthy coming into the week. However things didn't stay this way once Lindsay started toeing the mound and rubbing down ball after ball (uh huh). We started the game without Mrs. Mint, who was nursing a quad injury, but her pain threshold would be tested. Kim would be forced to endure the grueling task of keeping score. It was reported late in the game that she had a minor laceration on her hand and sore throat from yelling "You suuuckkk Ken!". She was last seen looking desperately for something to coat her throat. Next up we have the VCC. Things seemed to be going well for the young buck until his slide into third caused a slight problem. Unfortunately for the VCC, when he slid he went arms first and was bitten a trouser snake. This isn't the first time he's tangled with the 1 eyed beast, but it might be his last. We found out today that his T cell count is very low, the good news is that it will be easy for him to get into character for his new play. But in all seriousness if you want to get in on the death pool just email us your guess, 8 months away is already taken. Moving on now, we have our 2nd baseman Megan. Last week Megan took a laser shot to the leg (heard that's not the only shot she took that week, oh) and nearly had to have it amputated. This week her leg was battered and bruised. Some how she was able to make it thru the game. Making thru the game was the least of Ken's concerns however. I talked to Lil guy after the game and he told me due to his unique running style, he created to much friction in his pants ( the same thing happens to your mom, sister and sometimes your dad when I'm around) and his ass is totally chapped. Thankfully we have plenty of lube laying around because you never know if chicks are good to go. Also Ken remember Ben Gay isn't gay unless you rub it on another dudes cock. Last but not least I have some sort of rash on my balls. It didn't happen in the game, I just thought you would want to know. That's all we got, so guys remember to help the ladies get their daily dose of protein.

This was the best thing I saw last week.

1 comment:

The VCC said...

My shoulder kills. Feels like two bones grinding together. Fo sho. And i think that was the most dick to semen to ass jokes we've ever had. Well done.