June 6, 2008

What's In The Bag? Part Deuce

1.) Rumor has it the VCC was once a pitcher for the Memphis redbirds, but has yet to pitch a game and is always on the DL. What did you hurt and will you pitch again?
Don't believe everything you hear. But in this case, believe what you heard. It is true, I am currently on the 15-day DL for the 36th time in a row. Funny story actually about how I hurt my elbow. See, I was enjoying and evening with Rosie Palm and her 5 sisters and while trying to feverishly work the mouse and keyboard with my right arm and hand, and keep the 'technique' with my left, I some how fell out the chair landing directly on my right elbow and tricep area. Been nursing it ever since. Left elbow and tricep are fine, whew.

2.) What advice would you give to a 13 yr bi racial boy trying to make it in the zany gymnastics world?
I'm going to save this question for next weeks installation of the Mailbag when you will get a better answer from our very own Ted King.

3.) Landing Strip, Hitler, or Shaved?
Wow, tough one here. As many of you know, I'm very partial to a finely groomed 'whoo ha.' But if i had to choose between these, it would go like this. I would start off with the Landing Srip, then pretend I'm the 101st Airborne Rangers and make a emergency landing. Then shave into a Hitler. After a bit of 'divide and conquer', I would shave the remaining off in my triumph victory of the Nazi's and this chick's 'whoo ha.' And celebrate all over the place. Happy VE Day. (This isn't just a dick and gay joke site, we like to educate as well.)

4.) Pumping Station or The Flame?
Pumping Stating then The Flame and if there's time, the middle stall at the Jungle. For a good time call - 901-Me

5.) I’ve been following the Grizzlies ever since they came to Memphis and I’ve been a huge fan. Every year seems to bring more hope but more disappointment. I guess my question is, why does it hurt when I pee?
Excellent question and I'm glad you brought this up. I'm no doctor but I'm pretty sure what you have here is not a direct result of the anal ass battering that we all (griz fans) take on a yearly basis, but rather your inability to commit to a relationship. Your "scared to take the next step" mentality is what leads you to your numerous (2) one night stands with chicks/dudes (0/2 respectively) and the unprotected sex which has led to your Gonorrhea. I'm just guessing hear because I only have one symptom to go off of, but if your penis starts to drip fluid, then I'd consult your physician or better yet, let the mailbag know so we can ridicule you some more.

6.) Play marry, f, kill with the saved by the bell girls:Jessie Spano, Lisa Turtle, Kelly Kapowski
Marry: Lisa Turtle - she's black, good cook, cleans and can take care of the children, make mean collard greens and there will always be tons of lotion around due to her "ashyness"
Fuck: Kelly Kapowski - I don't care if Zac and Slater have passed threw those double doors while Skreech watched, if its still got business hours posted, I'm going in.
Kill: Jessie Spano - no need for explanation

7.) If you had to pick 3 songs to describe yourself, themes if you will, what would they be?
Song 1: Bill Withers - Lovely Day - thats just how I live life.
Song 2: Ashlee Simpson - Shadow - cause sometimes I do feel like I'm living in the shadow of someone else's dreams.
Song 3: Kinfolk Thugs - Dumptruck - beep beep

Thanks everyone and keep the questions coming!!

1 comment:

TK said...

word on the st is that the 13 yr old bi racial kid is your son with the chick that had balls. Happy Fathers day.